1 day...that's it?!

So tomorrow is March 23rd.
To most people that day has no significance whatsoever.
To me however it means one thing...
my birthday.
Now most people would be excited for such a thing...and I'll admit, most years I am.
However I don't want to turn 19.
I have nothing against the age...I just don't want to be it.
Why?
Well it means that I am almost out of my teens...and getting older.
I don't know...I just would kind of like to stay in my teens for a little bit longer...even though they haven't been my best years.
Yes I know it sounds stupid...but I can't help how I feel.
I'm pretty sure it's just fears though.
What fears exactly? Well I'm not entirely sure but I have an idea.
Although a bright side to turning 19...only two more years until I can legally drink.
Being able to obtain alcohol and legally enjoy it...well that could make hanging out with my mom more enjoyable at times.
Which sounds horrible, I know, but it's true.
We don't have the best relationship...and actually most days we don't talk...mainly because I don't live with her or call her but still.
There are things that happened in the past...things said just last year...and it's taking me a long time to forgive her for those things that happened when I was in middle school.
The things she did aren't as bad as what other parents do...like oh abusing a kid.
But they were emotionally scarring.
And this blog post is getting much more serious than I planned...so therefore I'm going to stop now.